morbid_soup ([info]morbid_soup) wrote,
  • Mood: dark
  • Music: mayday- dispatch

...

Wow... I wrote something... Pretty bad, but I have been toying with the idea for a while, and not only as a writing peace. Called "Escape"




He sat there, unmoving. His eyes, unfocused. His mind, loosening. Reality losing its grip. Sweat causing the slippery ball to slide from his hands until nothing was left but his own thoughts.
They slid around his head like superballs in a earthquake. None remained. There was no ceiling to hold them in. He was empty room to walked through. Then the darkness seeped in. And began to multiply until there was nothing left. It was the mold growing on the walls. It was the very air. He was the darkness. He could think now. No distractions. And as he thought he realized many things. Depressing things. Things that changed a person beyond recognition. He had to save the innocence. He had to save himself. He repelled the darkness and picked reality back up. For his own good.
Reality slunk back in, and he wondered what he had been thinking.

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  • 29 comments

[info]aurelias_roses

September 18 2005, 19:48:46 UTC 6 years ago

I think it's actually pretty good...
Except: superballs?

[info]emilyrose3292

September 18 2005, 21:43:54 UTC 6 years ago

*grin*

[info]emilyrose3292

September 18 2005, 22:58:24 UTC 6 years ago

let's apply freud to this, shall we?
sorry.
I just had to say that.

[info]martini2010

September 18 2005, 21:04:26 UTC 6 years ago

I think it's good, too. As always, you make the rest of us envious of your talent that we wish we possesed...

[info]emilyrose3292

September 18 2005, 21:44:29 UTC 6 years ago

wow...that's really good. I wish I had your talent...

[info]emilyrose3292

September 18 2005, 22:51:48 UTC 6 years ago

oh, and some details could be improved, but NOTHING BY YOU IS BAD. OR CRAPPY. OR ANY OTHER PUTDOWNS YOU CAN THINK OF.

[info]aurelias_roses

September 19 2005, 20:55:17 UTC 6 years ago

We tend to put ourselves down, especially when we ARE good writers, because what other people see (that we write) as good, we see merely as mediocre. Er. When I say "we". I mean writers in general. Not good writers specifically. But anyways. Alot of times, you mgiht consider something you write bad, because it's just not the very,very best you can do, but it's a bit of a bias. Because you might expect too much from yourself. Just leave it for a few days, and then reread it with an objective point of view. Um. I think I mean objective. Sometimes when you do that, you can figure out how to improve it. Don't just throw it away. Keep it to the side until one day you feel inspired, and take some time to edit until you think it's the best you can do.
But it's very good right now.
(you know, John tends to ramble/rant to other people. I never expected to rant to him. Or ramble. Whichever.)

[info]emilyrose3292

September 19 2005, 21:11:22 UTC 6 years ago

John's defintion of 'rant' is a bit more violent than that...

[info]aurelias_roses

September 19 2005, 21:17:09 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah. This is more of a ramble.

[info]emilyrose3292

September 19 2005, 21:24:14 UTC 6 years ago

a nice, friendly, calm ramble. Yep.

[info]zeio_eunei

September 22 2005, 02:23:03 UTC 6 years ago

hey, it's pretty good, but not as good as your others.
I dunno, do more emotion.
and....
superballs?
Do explain.

[info]morbid_soup

September 23 2005, 00:21:18 UTC 6 years ago

...

Super balls.
what I ahve inside my pants...
just kidding...
Im in a good mood...
Id like to ride it out...
Superballs are little rubber balls that you can bonce...
In the story he was a room without a ceiling, wo they all bonced out in the earthquake...
They simbolized his thoughts...

[info]martini2010

September 23 2005, 00:29:38 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

and you're always lecturing us about pervertedness...
oh yeah...I know what those are, those little bouncy balls you get in the quarter machines at resteraunts and grocery stores...

[info]emilyrose3292

September 23 2005, 23:04:37 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

I have some of those. Now I can literally say that I have someone by the balls. Won't that be entertaining.

[info]emilyrose3292

September 23 2005, 11:38:27 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

good grief.
Now not only am I going to collapse into insane giggles at the mere mention of lacrosse, I'll collapse into insane giggles at the mention of those little bouncy ball things too.
So...many...random...things...making me laugh...arrrggg...

[info]aurelias_roses

September 24 2005, 01:07:21 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

You. Did NOT. Have to say that. You REALLY didn't.I've been disgusted enough by guys on my bus. You. Do not start.
Oh. And we're doing indians now in social studies. STICKBALL...the forerunner of lacross!
heh...
And then my friend told me that someone had wrote "i'm horny" on a lightswitch. I pretty much burst into insane giggles. Then she stared at me and told me that she really, really did NOT want to know.

[info]martini2010

September 24 2005, 02:29:53 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

hehe...
lightswitches...
we had to watch a video about stickball...
and NO, we REALLY didn't need to hear that...

[info]emilyrose3292

September 24 2005, 22:10:22 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

I had to watch something about stickball too. IT AMUSED ME.

[info]aurelias_roses

September 25 2005, 16:34:42 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

We don't get to do that...
I suppose that's a good thing. If we did, I'd be laughing uncontrollaby, and people would think that I'm insane.
As it is, I had a hard enough time not laughing when my teacher said, "stickball is the forerunner of lacross..."

[info]emilyrose3292

September 25 2005, 18:30:42 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

that would have been it for me. I can never keep a straight face for anything. I would've burst into insane giggles no matter what anyone thought.

[info]aurelias_roses

September 26 2005, 20:24:02 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

At one point in that phrase, I realized, "forerunner? fore..fore...ack! No! Muststopthinking!"

[info]emilyrose3292

September 26 2005, 20:28:02 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

fore...fore...*big eyes*

Hey, guess what.

I JUST REALIZED something...you know those A Series of Unfortunate Events books? And the second one has a guy named Mongomery Mongomery who keeps a lot of snakes and other reptiles? His nickname was Monty. And he had a python. Go figure.

Crap, I'm such an idiot.

[info]emilyrose3292

September 24 2005, 22:09:54 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

Wow...I just did one of those laughs where I'm laughing so hard no noise comes out...

[info]aurelias_roses

September 26 2005, 20:29:13 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

Also, to do actual reviewing:
That...just confused. I don't think you really should have that in there, or if you do, you really need to be more descriptive so people would actually know what you're talking about.

[info]emilyrose3292

September 26 2005, 20:34:23 UTC 6 years ago

Re: ...

...yeah...
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